Since the Channel Sprint of the eighth the post has come in by the basketful, more than any week earns that is not chasing a midsummer programme, and wanting a sort. What survived the sorting runs below, the editor’s replies set in brackets against the lines that asked for a word. Trimmed, all of them. This column shortens a letter to spare the reader, and on the rare day a writer’s arithmetic will not stand, to spare the writer.
From the coot of the Channel Sprint, filed at the reeds on Thursday evening
Sir, I write to record, with the formality the occasion deserves, my thanks to the Clerk of the Race, whose return to the pond permitted the rematch to be run at last and whose first official act, taken at the finish line on Wednesday afternoon, was the amendment of my classification to one which acknowledges the position I in fact occupied at the conclusion of the spring sprint and have now occupied, by my own appointment, at the conclusion of its successor. The Clerk’s adjudication was, in my view, conducted with the proper care.
I wish it noted, in this connection, that the matter of category formalisation remains, for the present, outstanding. The Clerk of the Race’s amendment is subject to further deliberation by the Subcommittee; the Subcommittee has not, at the time of this letter’s filing, taken the matter up; and the gazette’s readers should not, in my respectful submission, conclude that the question of what constitutes an eligible finisher is, at this date, settled. I undertake to attend the next regular Wednesday session at which the matter is on the agenda.
The pebble, I am pleased to confirm, is in my keeping. It has been moved twice this week, in each case for reasons satisfactory to me.
COOT
[Granted in its broad spirit, which is most of what the letter is. Noted, the category question; noted twice over, the writer being visibly afraid it should slip behind a reed somewhere and be lost. When the Subcommittee will take it up the editor will not pretend to know, and points the reader instead at that body’s long and faithfully recorded conduct in the article of timetables. The pebble’s lodging is set down with thanks. Anything a writer can actually confirm is welcome on these pages.]
From the Rising Young Goose of the north bank, filed Thursday morning
Sir, I write briefly to offer my congratulations to the coot of the Channel Sprint on his third-place finish on Wednesday afternoon, achieved at a margin of some quarter of a splash behind the runner-up. The result was a creditable one, and the silence which preceded his single honk at the finish was, in my view, of approximately the duration the moment required.
I should not wish my own first place to be considered as in any way diminishing the achievement of either of the parties behind me. The Veteran Mallard and the coot ran, each in his own manner, the race that was available to them. The conditions did not favour speed.
A RISING YOUNG GOOSE OF THE NORTH BANK
[Handsomely put, and the editor will stoop to the rudeness the writer was too well-bred for and name the figure she left out: her eight splashes and a quarter is the fastest the gazette can find for the rematch course in any season it has consulted. Twice now, back to back, a second consecutive victory. Well run.]
From the Veteran Mallard, filed Friday morning at the east shore
Sir, I inquire, in connection with Wednesday’s rematch, whether the gazette intends to publish, for the records, a tabulation of the season’s Channel Sprint results, comprising the spring sprint of the sixteenth of April and the rematch of the eighth instant, in such a form as to permit comparison between the two. I should be obliged for such a tabulation, the gazette’s reports having been admirable on each occasion but distributed across editions in a manner not, for the purposes of a runner-up considering his future, wholly convenient.
A VETERAN MALLARD, FORMERLY OF THE SOUTH SHORE
[A fair request, and answered before the asking. The editor has put it to the Clerk of the Race: one table setting the two races of the season side by side, April’s sixteenth against the eighth of this month. Reasonable, he calls it; and he gives his word, should his other duties let him, to draw one up by and by. Word will go out the day it is ready.]
From a reader signing as An Old Admirer, filed by means uncertain
Sir, A brief note on the pebble’s return, of which Friday’s piece from the south reeds was so gracefully composed. The pebble has been in the Clerk’s keeping for what this writer has reason to believe is the longest unbroken period in its custodial history; its restoration to its owner is, in its own quiet way, the small civic event of the season. I record my appreciation; nothing further is required.
AN OLD ADMIRER
[Taken in with the regard it so plainly earns, and read over more than the once. Who the writer is, the editor cannot at present say, a stranger to this desk, and has chosen to leave the not-knowing alone. Further correspondence is welcome on the customary terms.]
The rest of the post waits its turn for a later edition, as the space and the week’s temper allow. And once again, for those at the back: anything meant for print may be honked toward the reeds at large, where the editor will, ish, have an ear out.
One matter the week’s post sets down precisely where it picked it up. To the coot, the question of what makes a finisher eligible stands open. The Clerk of the Race has amended a classification but not closed a category. And the Subcommittee, the one body that can shut the question, has not so much as lifted it from the pile. Until it does, the column may keep the quarrel; the answer is not its to keep. What, when all is honked and done, counts as having finished the race? The pond has not ruled, and sits on the matter with the patience of deep water.